Displaying severe/overwhelming emotional pain or distress
Showing worrisome behavioral cues or marked changes in behavior, particularly in the presence of the warning signs above.
This includes signs of significant:
– Withdrawal from or change in social connections/situations – Changes in sleep (increased or decreased) – Anger or hostility that seems out of character or context – Recent increased agitation or irritability
“The more healthy relationships a child has, the more likely he will be to recover from trauma and thrive. Relationships are the agents of change and the most powerful therapy is human love.”
~ Dr. Bruce D. Perry
“The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog”. Book by Bruce D. Perry, 2006
Dr. Bruce Perry is one of my heroes. He supports schools and families with concepts that make sense of the behaviors often exhibited in hurting children. Plus he also offers solutions. I loved reading and listening to his phenomenal book, The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog”. It was riveting while informative.
Managing those difficult conversations with youth who are self-harming or suicidal can be a challenge. While there are many components needed to equip a caregiver to vulnerable youth who are suicidal or practice self-harm. This tool has a few simple prompts to guide conversations.
1. Exercise. 2. Put on fake tattoos. 3. Draw on yourself with washable red marker - then take a shower and wash away your pain. 4. Scribble on sheets of paper. 5. Text or call trustworthy support immediately and ask for help. 6. Touch or suck on ice cubes while enjoying your favorite drink.7. Be with other people. 8. Watch a favorite TV show. 10. Think about how "I DON'T WANT SCARS FOR SUMMER!!" 11. Paint your nails a new color. 12. Download a support app: Happify, Virtual Hopebox. Virtue the app, My3. 13. Eat something yummy you can't resist. 14. Do your school work. 15. Write a letter to someone but never send it. 16. Watch aquarium fish.17. Call a friend and ask them to come hang out. 18. Play a musical instrument or sing. 19. Write or find poetry that expresses how you feel. 20. Look up at the sky, and find the moon. Study it. 21. Ask doctor about vitamins: multi., B Complex, D, GABA22. Get a punching bag and boxing gloves. Name the bag then use it when you need to. 23. Snap a rubber band (hair band) on your wrist. 24. Cover yourself with band-aids where you want to cut. 25. Go to the zoo and rename the animals. 26. Let yourself cry, even if it is hard. 27. Sleep, only if you are tired. 28. Do the exact opposite of what you really want to do. 29. Play with a pet. Visit a pet store. 30. Smile to at least 5 people. 31. Watch something inspirational on Youtube.32. Go out and perform one act of kindness. 33. Have a pillow fight with a wall. 34. Knit a scarf. 35. Read a good book. 36. Dress up glamorous, with makeup to match. 37. Color your hair. 38. Listen to music (non-triggering)39. Find a new funny meme. 40. Find someone else you can help. Do volunteer work. 41. Meditate. Track your breathing. 42. Call up an old friend and catch up. 43. Start a mood journal and write in it every day. Do patterns surface? Track your triggers. 45. Go somewhere very public. 46. Bake cookies or another favorite food you like. 47. Take your own dog, or a friend's dog for a walk48. Chew gum. 49. One at a time: Use each of your 5 senses to locate 2 items. 50. Paint or draw.51. Rip paper into really small pieces. 52. Give someone a hug. 53. Record yourself. 55. Hug a pillow or stuffed animal. 56. Hyper-focus on something like a rock, stream or plant. 57. Write yourself an “I love you because…” letter and keep it. 58. Scream as loud as you want. 59. Dance. 60. Make hot chocolate. 61. Pop bubble wrap. 62. Play with play dough or slime. 63. Count to 100. 64. Build a pillow fort. 65. Blow up a balloon and pop it. 66. Hug yourself. 67. Write yourself an "I love myself because" letter and keep it. Read it when you feel down. 68. Read things in a different language. 69. Go for a nice long walk, or jog. 70. Complete something you have been putting off. 71. Drink a cup of herbal tea. 72. Fold paper and invent a new origami shape. 74. Build or create something. 75. Butterfly hug yourself. 76. Visualize a happy scene and pretend to be there.77. Practice “square breathing” (4s In, 4s. Hold, 4s. Out, 4s. Rest).78. Diffuse/roll-on essential oils: lavender, peppermint & favorite79. Cook a meal.80. Go out for ice cream.81. Buy a stuffed animal.82. Look at pretty things-like flowers or art work.83. Tighten and flex your muscles progressively throughout your body.84. Pray to God. Ask for His comfort.85. Throw socks against the wall.86. Make a list of blessings in your life.88. Rock or spin in a chair.89. Watch a comedy movie.90. Call your therapist or make an appointment with one.91. Talk to someone close that you trust.92. Feel your feet. Press them gently into the floor. Hold and release.93. Read the Bible or listen to the Bible App -message version.94. Create a “safety plan”. Carry it with you or hang on the wall.95. Hide under a pillow and snuggle in a blanket. Notice cozy.96. Color and decorate a calendar planner or notebook. 97. Feed the ducks / birds.98. Write or draw pain points on a paper then tell God how much it hurts. Ask for His help.99. View nature images online. Watch a safari or river video100. Yell into a pillow.101. Play in a sandbox or create your own.102. Go through all your old stuff, and donate to Goodwill.103. Take a walk in the woods and breathe the fresh air.104. Cartwheel three times.105. Get some toys or fidgets and play like you are 5 years old again!
90% of the World’s Students Need a New Trauma Informed Strategy
During this Covid-19 pandemic, more than 90% of the world’s students were displaced from attending school. Absolutely, mind boggling! I am more than grateful for the influx of free trauma informed care training online to support hurting students and their families. Details are below.
My Two Cents: We Will Need New Lenses
Perhaps even more critical than these last few weeks of school is preparation for start up in the fall. I do not believe in the “get back to normal” notion. We need to embrace a new trauma lens. It will be critical to prepare our educators, service providers and organizations for short and long term changes to our systems.
Retooling for School Students in the Fall… Hopefully Post Covid-19
For many months and years to come, our children will remember and respond in many ways to “The Great Covid-19 Shutdown of 2020”. Some resilient students with lots of support will seem to bounce back and perform well academically. The trick is… our students will not all bounce back. Many vulnerable kids are depressed and despondent during this lockdown. We have heard of the increase in drug use, self-harm and aggression to manage their pain. In addition, many successful students who smile and seem fine may be harboring their pain inside. All students deserve opportunities to process their emotions in order to promote long-term wellness.
Good News
The good news is we have learned it is possible to develop the emotional health of students. It is completely doable if schools and organizations prepare to put on a new lens: trauma informed care.
“This course provides detailed information and concrete actions that answer not just the “why” but also the “how” to create the best classroom and school supports for traumatized students and the school professionals who serve them.”
