Archives For Parenting

  
This is good news! God will help us raise our children and youth. He will also reach out and help our adult children who have left the next. I believe He will fill in the gaps of parenting and the lessons they resisted learning from us 🙂

God is the author and finisher of their faith. 

BUT… We do have to do our part. I believe God helps us see” which adjustments need to be done for parenting our children. 

I have personally  regretted times I did not heed the nudge or gut feelings God sent to help us at times throughout the years.

 I have also been grateful for the promptings that helped me significantly. 

I am grateful God wants to partner with us to parent our children no matter what age they are. 

   

The Digital Invasion Book

As a concerned parent of children who sometimes use cyberschool for our homeschooling with all the bells and whistles, I have enjoyed deeply learning from an instrumental internet safety book, The Digital Invasion: How Technology is Shaping You and Your Relationships by Dr. Archibald Hart and his daughter Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd.

I have quoted this cyber safety book countless times since it was published in 2013 in presentations and when connecting with other concerned parents. There are many of us!

SIDE NOTE: I do recommend a separate resource below if the issues you are facing are more serious and already out of control!

Have you ever had a kid who has lost interest in everyday life?

Seems to be struggling more emotionally? Depressed?

Has lost interest in recreational activities and prefers gaming instead?

Does not want to relate to their family as much anymore?

Has a hard time falling asleep at night?

Complain they are bored more often than before?

The Digital Invasion book explains details to help caregivers not only support their family’s internet usage, but also understand what is happening inside their brains and hearts when they do. The Digital Invasion clarifies the impact of screens on learning. motivation and attention. I first learned about it through  an Association of Christian Counselors continuing education class. Dr. Archibald Hart was teaching counselors, pastors, educators, parents and grandparents the science behind internet usage. I was so fascinated I pre-purchased several copies before it published!

The Digital Invasion: How Technology is Shaping You and Your Relationships: Audio Interview Link

Since I just spoke to another mom about this book a few days ago… I wanted to add a little plug here with a link to click for an audio when the Harts interviewed with Focus on the Family.

Focus on the Family Link - Digital Invasion

 

I found The Digital Invasion more useful to our family than many of the other internet safety books available.

This book will not leave you feeling condemned but equipped to hopefully navigate toward a balance for improved family relationships.

For those who like quizzes, The Digital Invasion website contains a “Digital Wellness Quiz” or if your child’s gaming usage is serious the “Internet Addiction” test (IAT) by Dr. Kimberly Young…and offers other resources.

Resource for More Serious Internet Safety Addictions that may be Already Out of Control:

I recommend Dr. Kimberly Young’s website for serious internet safety issues that may require treatment services, detox or extra support for “Internet Gaming Disorder”, “Se*xting and Po*rn”, “Internet Infidelity” and deeper concerns that may have impacted your family.

 

Net Addiction website link - Dr Kimberly Young

 

 

Even in our weaknesses when we may feel, sad, tired, depressed, angry, enraged, scared, disgusted or overwhelmed… God cares how we feel. Even if it’s God Himself that you are mad at.

I think I did most of those emotions at some point in just the last week!! LOL

“Ok, so what do I do?” 

Well it depends on what rocks your boat… and how badly it hurts inside.

I may talk/cry to God about something that bugs me as I buzz around doing my  routine.

However, if it’s horrible and  involves a hospitalization of a loved one, a final, an expense we need a miracle for, a kid that is way out of line or something similar…

I need to pause to pray/weep/grieve over the situation with God.

Then I usually need to find specific Bible Verses that remind me of God’s promises to help me stand in faith. Like the one below.

Since my goal today is to also help you teach your children what to do with their negative emotions, find self-control and emotional intelligence… I will add the next picture verse: 

 It may be important to teach them to NOT do naughty things (sin) even if they are furious or sad. I don’t focus on sin but God does want them safe.

If this concept hard for you to implement with your littles let me know. It can be tricky! 

I have 6yo twins and a 10yr old still at home so I realize it’s a process to train children in self-control.

I will add the tactile things I also need to do if I’m overwhelmed with negative emotions. 

I may also journal/beef on paper about a struggle,

blast Kirk Franklin or Andi Mineo music, sing badly and loudly,

go for a walk,

dance with a baby,

or draw something about it. (My drawings look more like flowcharts but that’s ok you get the point.)

Do something with God and pour out those feelings. Getting them out is part of the healing process. Going close to God and talking to Him about how we feel is a part of the process. Then His grace and help are available!!

It’s a good deal. A trade. He takes our yuck and gives us His love.


Verse and link below:

“For we have not a high priest that cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; 

but one that hath been in all points tempted like as we are, 

yet without sin. 

Let us therefore draw near with boldness unto the throne of grace, 

that we may receive mercy, 

and may find grace to help us in time of need.”

‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭4:15-16‬ ‭ASV‬‬ http://bible.com/12/heb.4.15-16.asv


If you know someone who is struggling please share this post with them and let me know. We all really need each other.

Blessings,

Lois

This verse explains how to help our children gain emotional intelligence and resilience. It is not easy in today’s world for our kids to navigate through social media, bullying and peer pressure. By introducing them to the One and teaching them His ways we help them understand who they really are. Not what others tell them. Our kids gain identity and emotional intelligence.

I added the framing verses in Deuteronomy those in the image above to give context. Our prevailing goal is to tightly bond our children to God and his unconditional love and encourage them to focus on his design for their lives.

Then hopefully the world cannot tell them who they are and what they should want. This of course is not a foolproof formula. It’s a relationship.

Children once they get older make choices that are good, bad, horrible and sometimes dangerous.

But….  if they know Him and His ways they may choose to seek to God to help them find their way out of trouble, depression and challenge.

If we as parents teach them… we empower them.

Blessings!

Lois

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 

Impress them on your children. 

Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates.”
‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭6:5-7, 9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

http://bible.com/111/deu.6.5-7,9.niv


Perhaps you to have some kids who struggle with anger? Here is a verse that helps. Once your child knows it by heart… You will only have to say the first part and they can finish it!

If we write God’s word on children’s heart He will scrub it and clean it for you.

God does the hard part!!!

 

Below is a version without my Aunti Lolo face!

Haha