10 Reasons and 10 Tips to Tackle the Mommy Guilt Craze Beast

April 3, 2014

Mom Guilt: Has this ever happened to you?

 

At the end of the day…..you look at your preschoolers’ dinner plate only to realize HE NEVER ATE IT!

Even better…instead he had a doughnut as dinner when he went out with mommy for an evening errand.

Is that your mom guilt spot?

Today mommies have far greater expectations of parenthood than previous generations did.

Moms berate themselves for not ascending to ultimate levels of perfection in their parenting efforts.

This is not healthy nor realistic…BUT you KNOW that already right?

What can you DO to ease that craze beast?

 

10 REASONS WHY TIME STARVED MOMS FEEL GUILTY

1. “Perfect” family and friends who help you feel guilty about anything no matter HOW many TIMES you explain WHY you do anything….THEY of course bath their kids each morning and night,  their babies were perfect sleepers AND all their teens were well behaved……

2. Not feeding the kids enough healthy and sacred fruits and veggies!  INSTEAD, regularly having survival dinner = cereal, peanut butter and jelly or fast food. When you cook your kids are surprised or scared.

3. Not bathing the little ones enough in honor of the Medieval era.

4. Not spending enough time with their kids in general OR spending too much time with them and not enough for themselves, their marriage… friends…hobbies….

5. Letting the screens babysit and occupy their time too much. (computer, TV, iPad, game consoles, cell phones, etc.)

6. Spending too much $$$ OR not enough

7. Working too much and spending extra time away from the family OR wishing they were working to support the family.

8. Not teaching kids their native foreign language, OR math, OR spelling, OR money management, OR manners…

9. The appearance of their house…too dirty, cluttered, small, big…..

10. Bonus Guilt for preschool moms:”You still have not potty trained the kids at ____yo.??  (fill in the blank)”

 

Photography by Debby High

Photography by Debby High

HOW TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT MOMMY GUILT:

 

WITH ALL THIS GUILT FLYING AROUND…. the end of the matter is that reprogramming is needed… to help mom guilt parents can:

1.Pray

2. Tell Yourself: “Thank God HE uses cracked pots” “He’s NOT DONE with me yet” -Joyce Meyer. Demolish the perfectionism that will drive you absolutely crazy. This is my favorite because: “God uses the foolish things of the world to confound the wise”

3. Set specific rules for screen time as part of your family’s internet safety plan. Then when your children are on with their timers and healthy boundaries in place the guilt goes away.

4. “…and so He gives His beloved sleep”

Whisper =”God, can YOU PLEASSSSE make the baby(ies) sleep a little longer?” OR implement a mommy-led nap schedule.

5 “I will make NO IMPORTANT DECISIONS unless I’m rested and have a clear mind”

6. “It’s OK…it will be alright” You make a decision to drop the mommy guilt.

7.”That’s OK…I love me and I forgive myself”

8. Remember: “My family members who have lots of advice could NOT POSSIBLY have had perfect mealtimes, bath times, potty training, bedtime routines and devotions ALL THE TIME…they just don’t remember”

9.”It is NOT that important…

…since will not change life as we know it

…and will not make a difference 10 years from now!”

10. OR YOU CAN CALL A FRIEND WHO IS IN THE SAME BOAT AND LAUGH TOGETHER ABOUT YOUR STATION IN LIFE!!

 

If none of these work to assuage the guilt

Then GO BACK TO STEP 1 and cry out :

“HHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPP” to God.

That ALWAYS HELPS…

Heloise "Lois" Ridley, MBA

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Heloise (Lois) Ridley, MBA helps parents "Get OFF the CRAZY cycle.... and onto a path of peace" She loves to encourage, instruct and empower parents and youth to live and impact the world around them. Heloise speaks and trains in workshops for internet safety, home education and parenting issues to equip today's busy parents. She specializes in helping parents create a "Character Based Internet Safety Net" in their homes to protect their children online wherever they go. She also offers Coaching and Training to families that need more support to implement their plan. Heloise also speaks and coaches parents: ...from baby basics, ...to pre-school antics, ...to study skills & education, ...to the eventful teen years. She is passionate about equipping "stressed out moms": ...with practical tools ...strategies ...and a clear understanding of God's role as Partner, Provider and Helper in the parenting process.

One response to 10 Reasons and 10 Tips to Tackle the Mommy Guilt Craze Beast

  1. Thanks! This article was insightful and just what I needed to hear!